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Friday, 14 January 2011

Junk Mail.

Ah yes, that everyday nuisance which crops up into our email account. Despite enabling filters against the pesky fraudsters, desperate sellers and random freaks,  it still remains impossible to fully banish junk mail from our lives. As a result, instead of battling the hardened enemy, it would appear wiser and more appropriate to embrace and accept its endearing flaws.

Perhaps the best way to do this is by acknowledging the humour and hilarity that comes with junk mail. Take a chance to have a peek at your emails, and you'll begin to understand what angle I'm coming from. It may range from those concerned about their weight being bombarded with numerous emails from Diet companies entitled 'LOSE WEIGHT QUICK', to students being given advice on ways to manage debts. Unfortunately the antidotes provided by the emails often seem to involve the exchanging of bank account details. In order to maintain the vast levels of junk mail that is sent to us, the companies/people/criminals involved must be financially profiting. But then again, anyone silly enough to believe these obvious false promises deserves to be fleeced.

The funniest emails are those which have absolutely no relevance to our lives.This regularly happened to me when I was constantly sent information regarding offers of being a driving instructor. Needless to say, I had just failed my driving test and had no aspirations whatsoever of pursuing this profession. A classic story comes from females who receive information relating to the cure of 'erectile dysfunction problems'. Not an issue that women could (in the majority of cases) ever personally relate to. Although, I guess they could be the cause of it.

The most creative, well thought out and inevitably poorly spelt emails come from people posing as rich foreign tycoons. They offer us enviable economic rewards in exchange for rescuing them from a difficult situation. The emails are personally written, and can almost be believable. After all, wouldn't it make sense to agree to their demands and to help out by giving them a thousand pounds in return for a five thousand pound profit? Surely, it is a guarantee of making a helluva lot of money. How could we not trust someone who addresses us by our first name, is polite and offers us a massive financial outlay?

There's only one way to find out. Let me go and get my chequebook...

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